


When I imagine you, I think of that room (and it drives me wild)

by knopecommaleslie



Category: The Haunting of Bly Manor (TV)
Genre: F/F, Feelings With Smut, First Time, Fluffy Smut, Something for everyone?, plenty of dialogue too actually, smut with feelings, smutty fluff, these two goobers are just too much, whoops it got fluffy again
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27666239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knopecommaleslie/pseuds/knopecommaleslie
Summary: A very smutty (but with feelings!) imagining of the time between Dani and Jamie's kiss at the moonflower and the next morning.
Relationships: Dani Clayton/Jamie
Comments: 34
Kudos: 392





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please make sure you read Dani’s dialogue with the strongest US Midwest accent you can muster ;)
> 
> Title from Tegan & Sara's "Drove Me Wild," which is maybe the Damie-est song ever to Damie. Top 10, to be sure. 
> 
> Come say hi on tumblr; I'm bly-me these days.

For the second time that evening, they’re passing through the kitchen hand in hand, but this time it’s Dani taking the lead. For a moment, it had crossed both Dani’s and Jamie’s minds to pause, check and see if Owen and Hannah were still at the table talking, make sure they didn’t see anything too damning. But those worries are quickly stilled by the heavy silence and sweet darkness in the room, and the two figures pass through at a rapid clip on sock feet, having deposited muddy shoes and damp coats in the entryway. Besides, Jamie thinks to herself, _Hannah wasn’t pulling many punches with those knowing looks she gave us earlier. Only so much ya can hide from family._

They make it to the small servants’ staircase before Dani’s urgency to get Jamie into her room, all to herself within four solid, warm walls, is overwhelmed with the immediate desire to be pressed against her _now_. She stops abruptly and pushes Jamie against the wall, hands burrowing into curly hair and absorbing some of the impact while eagerly bringing Jamie’s already-open mouth to hers.

They’ve each done this very thing several times over the course of their halting path from the moonflower garden back to the house, and it’s not been a short journey. Both of them are keyed up to eleven and buzzing with discovery and wanting more, so this stop is a short one, just enough time for Dani’s tongue to crash clumsily into Jamie’s and Jamie’s thumbs to hook into Dani’s belt loops pull Dani’s hips roughly into her own. At that suggestion of what’s to come, Dani pushes herself back and is on the move again, just about dragging Jamie up the rest of the stairs and into her room down the hall.

For not the first time since she moved in, Dani is grateful that this ludicrously large house has empty rooms flanking hers on all sides; that makes it safe, once they’ve practically jumped through the doorway, to release the giggle she’s been holding in since they came in the back door of the manor. And when she clicks on the small lamp on her dresser, they can also see each other properly for the first time since taking this leap in the secluded darkness of Jamie’s secret spot on the grounds.

Taking each other in during that first bright moment, Jamie and Dani each note the other’s mussed hair, pink cheeks, swollen lips, hungry eyes. Dani breaks first, looking away self-consciously under the cover of removing her earrings. When she turns back, Jamie is still watching her with something teetering between lust and admiration, and her unbroken gaze – and the fact that Dani has no desire to be out of it – is enough to speed her heart up again.

Dani takes Jamie’s hand and pulls her toward the edge of her bed, sits down on the patterned comforter so hard that she bounces, with her body already fully angled toward where Jamie will sit. But Jamie doesn’t sit, yet. Because she knows this, this edge-of-the-bed, in-the-room-but-not-in-the-sheets, this is a gateway – go through it and you’re on a different journey than you were five minutes ago. She’s learned from too many experiences that even if you don’t go _all the way_ down that road, going through this particular gateway changes people, and changes the way they are with the person leading them there, forever. And even though wants as much as Dani does to make that next move, she’s also still just a bit reluctant to offer up what they’re building – a friendship built on trust, honesty, and mutual respect – in the name of stepping into the next phase.

All this plays out in seconds as a scrunched brow, a mouth flattened to a line, a hand that fists then flexes open again. But Dani sees it.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, concern replacing the desire on her face, reaching a hand out to take one of Jamie’s once again. 

“Are you sure, really sure about this, Poppins? ‘S okay if you wanna call it a night.”

“Are…you kidding?” Dani is genuinely incredulous. “Yes, I’m sure. I…this is already the best thing…” she stops, not wanting to scare Jamie – or highlight her own inexperience too much – with grand declarations or inflated expectations. “I mean, of course, if you’re not…if you don’t want to, I can kiss you goodnight right now and…I’ll see you tomorrow?”

It’s Dani’s use of “kiss goodnight” instead of “say goodnight” that does it for Jamie. Her cocky grin reappears slowly, head tilts to the side. “Is that so? After we’ve been snogging for the past hour, you’ll just, give me one more kiss, then—” she makes a “poof, gone” action with her hands.

“If that’s what you want, I’ll respect it,” Dani says, giving Jamie the most earnest expression Dani thinks she’s ever seen, all wide blue eyes, eyebrows raised high, and a firm nod, no hint of sarcasm. “I will never pressure you to do anything you don’t want.”

Jamie’s been expecting to be the one to give this talk, and the sudden role reversal brings a wash of relief. She feels herself let go, for now, of the portfolio of other women whose feelings she had to monitor carefully and bear the burden of responsibility for, lest they feel a bit too regretful the next morning and tell someone, or do something, that would upend her life forever.

“OK, Poppins, I. I just…seriously, I don’t want to do anything before you’re ready for it.” (The still-thinking part of Dani’s mind notes briefly that this wording leaves the door open for doing many _things_ later on.) Finally, Jamie joins her on the bed, sits on one bended leg to face Dani and hold both her hands. “Only, I need you to tell me what you want.”

Dani takes just one deep breath before giving the most truthful answer she knows: “I want _you_.” From this, and the pleading, vulnerable way Dani’s looking at her, Jamie understands that Dani doesn’t have the words yet for everything she’s craving; that Jamie is going to have to take some leadership here. Dani, for her part, is conscious that it was just this morning that she went to make amends after their false start, so she continues with, “I’ll tell you, I promise I’ll tell you if there’s something I’m not ready for. But, Jamie, I want you. _Now_.” That, at last, is enough for Jamie, who agrees with an “All right, then,” and moves her hands back to Dani’s sides, looks directly into those serious eyes and smiles softly.

The conversation has altered their pace, taken it from desperate to deliberate. If you’d told Dani-of-thirty-minutes-ago that now she’d be sitting upright on the end of her bed, still fully clothed and drinking in slow, sensual kisses punctuated by smiles and what can only be called long moments of gazing, she’d have rushed you with a candlestick and demanded to be thrown down and ravaged on the spot (a scene she may or may not have been playing on a loop in her head for the past four days). But Dani-of-now is drowning in Jamie’s deepening kiss, in the intentional way Jamie is very _very_ slowly expanding the path of her hand up and down Dani’s ribcage over her sweater. She’s marveling at how she’s never been this turned on from just _making out_ (and God, what is she, 16?) – no, scratch that, she’s never been this turned on, ever.

At that semi-conscious realization, Dani catches Jamie’s hand on its next trip down her side, pushes it under her own sweater, inviting, asking for the next step of this sweet, slow escalation. She also reciprocates, daring for the first time to slide her own hands under Jamie’s soft, faded shirt and up Jamie’s back to find and finger the straps of her bra. ( _Oh shit, the clasp_ , Dani thinks. _This is like, a_ thing _, being able to undo a girl’s bra smoothly_.) The panic doesn’t last long, though, because she’s too distracted by Jamie’s own eager hands, which are roaming freely across Dani’s skin now, tracing up and over the cups of her own bra, grazing her nipples through the silky fabric. Dani instinctively lifts her arms up, helping Jamie pull the sweater all the way over her head before doing the same with Jamie’s too-cool tee shirt.

At the sight of new skin, both of them stop for a beat, take it in, before diving back into another kiss, Jamie bending to taste Dani’s collarbone, Dani slipping one finger under Jamie’s right bra strap, work it down off her shoulder.

“Oh, hey there, fast mover,” Jamie looks up with a smirk of mock surprise. “Thought I was taking the lead here.”

Dani bites her lip. “Sorry,” she says in a voice that’s decidedly not, “I just…I’ve been…”

“Thinking about this? Dreamin’ about seeing me topless?” Jamie teases, clearly enjoying herself.

“Well, yeah,” Dani replies, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world that a gorgeous, smart woman has been fantasizing about getting Jamie naked for days.

Jamie laughs at Dani’s open desire, decides she likes it too much to argue or tease further, and helps by reaching behind herself to undo the clasp. She leaves the actual taking off of the thing to Dani, though; she’s earned it. Dani, for her part, blushes with how excited she is at the sight of Jamie’s breasts, but doesn’t hide how ready she is to take one in her hand and the other in her mouth, kissing a path around, down, and across. Jamie’s head falls back at the sensation, and her hands tighten around Dani’s back, pulling her in close. In just a few minutes, Jamie gets Dani out of her bra as well, and takes her own turn tracing hot, wet trails across alert skin. She’s about midway through a planned regimen of teasing Dani’s nipples with her tongue, then grazing with her teeth, then using her whole mouth, when Dani takes her face in both hands, pulls it up even with her own for the first time in minutes.

“You. Are driving. Me crazy. With that.” Dani presses her forehead into Jamie’s for effect.

“You’re welcome,” an entirely-too-satisfied Jamie replies, impish grin competing with the pure heat of lust on her face.

“I’m serious.” Dani pushes her body up onto the bed another foot, reaches back down and pulls Jamie after her until they’re lying down. Dani runs her hand down Jamie’s front once, slowly, before pushing Jamie flat onto her back and climbing on top of her. (She’s half amused that Jamie has managed to still leave her in charge of moving things forward, and half wildly proud of herself for continuing to do so.)

Then Dani stops thinking and lets her instinct – her for-the-first-time-unsuppressed desire – take over. She swings one leg up and over Jamie’s hips, slides the other between Jamie’s legs, shifts down so they fit together and, _oh_ , finds what she’s been craving all night, all day, all week, all her life. She starts rolling her hips down slowly, her darkening eyes locked on Jamie’s.

Before long, though, Dani’s rhythm becomes faster, approaching frantic, and Jamie matches her, gripping Dani’s hips hard to pull and push, offering more friction and looking for it herself, too – the two pairs of pants between them are becoming increasingly maddening. Dani drops her forehead down to rest on Jamie’s chest, and Jamie finds the fact that Dani’s efforts have left her sweating extremely arousing. Also arousing is the way that Dani looks up at Jamie through a mess of blonde hair that’s finally fully escaped its scrunchie, having realized that she’s not going to get there this way, and asking wordlessly, again, for her.

Jamie grins back hungrily, and finally obliges, gently pushing Dani’s body off her own and onto the bed next to her. While Dani catches her breath, Jamie’s licking the sweat off Dani’s jawline, smoothing wild hair up and away from Dani’s face, and running her hands down Dani’s flushed chest and the soft curve of her belly. By the time Dani’s breathing has slowed a bit, Jamie’s fingers are tracing along the top of Dani’s pants, starting to toy with the zipper. Dani’s got her tongue between her teeth, eager to have the ache between her legs attended to at last, but Jamie looks up with clear eyes and asks first anyway: “OK?” (And just that, just the fact that she asks, and keeps asking, making sure in the simplest way but with the absolute guarantee that she’ll stop if it’s _not_ , that is maybe the most revelatory thing for Dani. Well, top five anyway.)

Dani’s answer is immediate and sure: “God, yes. Jamie. I _want_ you. _Please_.” She leans into Jamie, places her hands into Jamie’s shoulders on the _please_. Hearing Dani say her name like that, followed so closely by that _please_ and the press of hot palms is so _much_ that Jamie has to drive her own tongue down into a tooth to keep control of her own buzzing body enough to unzip Dani’s pants. She tugs them down as Dani wiggles to help with a tiny, self-conscious giggle. She pulls off Dani’s underwear, too, and when she touches the soaked-through cotton, feels her own core flood in response. 

Jamie takes off her own jeans and underwear, too, because that’s only fair – being pantsless in front of someone for the first time can feel even more vulnerable than being shirtless, and she won’t send Dani there alone. That, and she can’t stand the thought of having fabric between her skin and Dani’s any longer, not with the way her clit is throbbing harder every time Dani’s breath hitches.

Jamie’s tongue passes over her lips as she trails her hand downward again, and when she traces up the inside of Dani’s top thigh, Dani bends her knee to give Jamie access. Dani’s already panting, and Jamie doesn’t make her wait any longer. She drifts two fingers into the wetness between Dani’s legs, is rewarded with a sigh-turned-moan as she circles them, increasing the pressure steadily. Dani is so slick that it’s nothing to slide one finger all the way inside, and Jamie isn’t surprised when her “More?” is met with a furious nod. When her second finger pushes in, Dani turns her head to fully groan into the mattress. Jamie keeps her hand still for a moment, buried deep, then starts to pulse inside her, and Dani growls, throws her leg over Jamie’s waist, pulls her closer, meets her small movements with larger ones punctuated by “God. Jamie. Jamie. God!” Dani has never been vocal in bed before this, but something has come untethered tonight, and she isn’t even embarrassed, just stunned by how fucking _good_ every part of her feels. 

Jamie can tell, as much from Dani’s face – eyes scrunched shut and mouth wide in a silent surprised shout – as from the twitching already happening around her fingers that this won’t take long. Sure enough, the first time she presses her palm up into Dani’s clit, Dani’s hand flies to her own mouth barely in time to muffle a loud “MMMmmm!” as her muscles clench once, twice, three times. (Months later and uncountable body-shaking, biting-her-own-hand-to-contain-the-screams orgasms into their relationship, Dani will look back on this first time Jamie made her come and fondly reclassify it as a warm, delicious, but not all that _big_ one. But in the moment, it’s the most pleasure she’s ever felt all at once, and she feels spent and full and all the things she suspected were possible but has never tasted until now.)

Jamie stills her hand but keeps it in place, encouraging Dani to ride it out fully, slipping her other arm behind Dani to support her body. When Jamie finally withdraws dripping fingers, Dani goes limp and falls onto her back. Though her eyes are still closed, her face breaks open into a smile that’s satisfied, yes, but more than that, it’s relieved. (Jamie would later realize that she wouldn’t see that same easy, untroubled smile again until one pink-and-gold-tinted afternoon in their flower shop, a tiny moonflower and a big declaration.)

TO BE CONTINUED in PART TWO


	2. Chapter 2

Dani’s eyes are still shut, but gently so, her head lolling side to side slowly and a lazy smile playing on her lips. She looks as if she’s just been deposited off a dizzying but extremely enjoyable carnival ride. Jamie drinks all this in, willing her own body to calm as well, fully expecting and totally accepting that Dani will drift to sleep soon and that she’ll settle in beside her for the night.

Yet, after just a minute or two, Dani seems recovered: her breathing deepens and she rolls onto her side to face Jamie again. Dani presses a hot hand to Jamie’s spine and urges their bodies close once again, stomachs, breasts, thighs touching as she kisses her once, deeply, tongue fully inside Jamie’s mouth. Somehow, even with all this, Jamie is still surprised when Dani whispers into her open mouth, “Can I touch you?”

What Jamie thinks is, _Blimey_. What Jamie says is, “Oh, yeah.”

“I’ve never done this before,” Dani offers it as a confession, an ask for grace, with a small shake of her head and eyes shut so as not to see any disappointment or annoyance that might cross Jamie’s face. Because she wants to do this thing. Wants it so badly but also wants it to be right, wants it to be fair, wants it to live up to everything that Jamie’s worth. “You know that, right?”

“Yeah. I’ll help. I’m here. I want you to.” Jamie, head spinning already from the precarious mix of vulnerable and bold that Dani’s bringing to this moment, gives her all the words she can think of to steady her, keep her going down this path that mere moments ago she didn’t imagine existed, but now knows she’ll die if she doesn’t go there now. Still, when she takes Dani’s hand, she brushes lips across knuckles before guiding it down. And she lets Dani be the one to close the last few inches, to move her hand fully of her own accord, to brush fingertips across curled hair, to find for herself the wetness that’s been pooling, threatening to spill onto the sheets, for long minutes now.

“OH my god. _Jamie_ ,” Dani’s voice is deep, raspy. And that’s all Dani can say, as she drifts still-tentative fingers across and around, reveling in the want they’ve found.

Jamie rolls to her back to give Dani an easier angle, and Dani shifts to sit on top of Jamie again, straddling one of her legs, without breaking contact. This gentle, nearly ticklish touch is driving Jamie properly crazy, so much so that she says, _out loud_ –

“Will you get inside me?”

Dani doesn’t answer verbally (her brain has stopped functioning upon hearing those words come out of Jamie), but, though her mouth has gone dry, she does just as Jamie had done, dips first one, then two fingers, in, just a bit at first and then, at last, deep into wet heat that’s somehow soft and firm all at once. Jamie hisses at finally being filled, and, after waiting just one beat – time for Dani to breathe one ragged, disbelieving breath, because she’s touched herself, and she’s been touched, but _this_ , this is something else entirely – Jamie starts to rock against her fingers, and Dani picks up on the hint and starts to move, slowly, in and out. Jamie, making good on her promise to help and more than a little desperate for some relief, brings her right hand down and begins circling her own clit, hard and twitching after so much time, so much skin, so much of _Dani_ filling her eyes, her mouth, her nose.

On one in-stroke, Dani experimentally twists her hand just a bit, scissors her fingers apart in a tiny motion that sends a shock of pleasure through Jamie that registers on her face in a gasp and a shocked smile. So, she does that again, and again, careful to keep her motions steady despite the pressure building between her own legs, which is only heightened by the sight of Jamie touching herself. Not bad for a beginner, Jamie thinks slyly, grinning in spite of how turned on she is at the look of determined concentration on Dani’s face.

Dani’s picking the pace up just a bit now, and Jamie matches it with her hips, a small moan building at the back of her throat. At the sound of it, Dani gives one quiet, hot pant, then, mouth still open and tongue in a studious and way-too-sexy curl against her bottom teeth, presses her core down against Jamie’s thigh. Jamie hardens the muscles there, lifting her leg just a little to give her friction, which Dani takes and runs with, now moving against Jamie in time with her own finger strokes.

At the sight of just— _all this_ —and oh _Christ_ now Dani’s hair, slightly damp with sweat, is curling around her face, and that face is all sex and lust and all… _care_ somehow too? At the sight of _just all that_ , Jamie feels herself already start to tighten around Dani’s two fingers. She’s weighing slowing down her own work to draw this out further, but then she can tell Dani feels it too, and, “Fuck. Fuck! Fuhuuuckkkk.” are the sounds that come out of that usually-proper mouth, and Jamie knows this one is on its own timeline, plenty of time for more later.

Dani is now practically sliding across Jamie’s thigh, and the skin-to-skin slick there is driving Jamie closer every second. “Don’t stop,” she hears herself, is that, _Christ_ , begging? the arch in her back already starting, her head driving back into the pillow, thigh pressing up into Dani, whose mouth is open so wide and is concentrating so hard and – Jamie can’t keep her eyes open anymore – and she comes, a hell of a lot harder and longer than she expects to, than she has in memory. The muscles in her stomach are still quavering with aftershocks when she’s able to open her eyes again to see Dani, breathing hard and frozen in place above her (and God love her, she kept her fingers in – seriously quick learner, that one). Jamie reaches down, wraps her hand around Dani’s, eases it out. Gives an involuntary _hmmph_ at the loss.

“Did you…again?” Jamie asks, sliding her hands up Dani’s sides.

“I, yeah. Sorry,” Dani trails off, eyebrows furrowing, embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to…was your turn…just, touching you…” she’s working hard to sputter out a semi-coherent apology – an apology! – and Jamie is having none of it.

“Do not. Ever. Apologize. For that. My god, Poppins, that was…incredibly hot.” Jamie can’t come up with anything better than that in her post-orgasm haze, and honestly doesn’t care how dumbstruck she sounds, how dumbstruck she _is_ at the hands of this woman who’s dropped into her life. She reaches for Dani’s hands, hanging limp at her sides now, tangles their fingers together, relishing the fact of their stickiness. Pulls her so that Dani’s entire naked length presses into Jamie’s side, fishes around for a sheet to cover them both as they come down.

-

“Oh no,” Dani says a few minutes later, mumbling softly into the warm skin of Jamie’s neck. Her tone is more whine than terror, and she punctuates it with a nuzzle of her forehead, so Jamie doesn’t think the worst, exactly, but still –

“What’s going on, Dani? You okay?”

“Oh, oh yeah,” Dani says apologetically, her forehead smoothing. “I’m just hungry. This happens if I stay up too late, and it’s kind of a pain.”

“Sure, definitely just the late hour and not the number of calories we just burned during that surprisingly athletic sex,” Jamie teases, darting her eyes around theatrically to indicate the pillows thrown to the floor, the ruined sheets.

“Surprisingly?!” Dani retorts with mostly-mock affront. “What did you think it would be, boring?”

“Nooooo, just…sometimes, y’know,” Jamie senses she’s on thin ice here, and even though they’re teasing, the last thing she wants to do is hurt Dani, even just a little bit, after such an intimate and vulnerable time—first time—together. “Sometimes, when…people….are new…”

Dani can barely contain her guffaw. “What you’re saying is, sometimes, when you take a girl to bed,” (she’s propped up on one elbow, pointing at Jamie accusingly now) “…she’s not up to your standards!” Dani can hardly contain the giddy energy coursing through her body, can hardly believe she’s having a conversation with someone she’s _just slept with_ about athletic sex, about _their sex_ being athletic, being anything at all. Some part of her knows if she stops for too long, if she looks down, she’ll lose her nerve, even after everything she’s done for the first time already tonight. Instead, she bites her lip, reaches over to run her thumb along Jamie’s gorgeous jawline, and adds some puppy dog eyes and a pout for effect: “I’m just glad you aren’t disappointed.” She ducks back down into the crook of Jamie’s shoulder and neck, quickly thinking of this as _where she goes_.

“Jesus, Poppins. I didn’t think Americans were known for their modesty. That was, and I am not exaggerating, absolutely fucking amazing, top quality shagging.” Dani can tell from the shape of the words that Jamie is beaming over her head, struggling to keep a straight face, and she swats at her to stop her teasing.

“Ohhhh-kayyy,” she drawls, and Jamie notes that her accent has somehow gotten even stronger post-sex. “You don’t have to lay it on so thick,” but Dani’s grinning, proud of herself, and she fastens her hands around Jamie’s middle with more confidence.

“Reckon I should ask you the same, then?” Jamie is still smirking just a bit, and this feigned gallantry makes Dani roll her eyes, toss her head back in a laugh.

“Ha, you are too much. You know I’ve never done that before.”

“Yeah, you mentioned.” (Another swat.) “Not exactly a five-star review, is that? Nothing to compare it to?” Jamie’s squirming; she wasn’t expecting this much _talk_ about what they were doing either. (This would become a theme, in fact, a defining feature of their life together: each would come to a conversation with no intentions of hiding anything, yet would still walk away feeling completely unburdened.)

“Noooo, I mean, I’ve never…”

“Oh my god, Dani, are you about to tell me you’ve never had an orgasm till now? Because we will get you more than two if that’s the case.”

Dani blushes to fuchsia. “No, I’ve…on my _own_ , just never…with…anyone else.”

That’s enough to stun Jamie into silence for many long seconds, and Dani is holding her breath, hoping she hasn’t confessed too much, or made it weird somehow. Then, Jamie gets ahold of herself, decides that there’s no need to turn this into something it might or might not be, yet. Rakes her hand through Dani’s now-messy hair, and says, matter-of-factly –

“Well, darling, there’s no time like the present.” – Dani’s heart positively leaps at that _darling_ – “So.” A redirect. “Not a pain at all. Let’s get you some nibbles. And me too. Bit peckish after my efforts, don’t mind saying so.” She shifts toward the end of the bed, reaches down and roots her flannel shirt out of the comforter piled on the floor.

“Um, I don’t think so,” Dani says, standing hastily and hurrying to place a hand on Jamie’s shoulder to keep her sitting. She pulls the shirt out of Jamie’s hands for good measure. “I’ll go. Just because Owen and Hannah, uh, saw us leaving together doesn’t mean they need to know you’re still here.” When Jamie’s eyes cloud, Dani knows she needs to clarify—she’s not ashamed, not running, just not taking this too far, too public, too fast. She adds quickly, “It’s—not professional. And Jesus, the kids—can you imagine if Flora thinks there’s a sleepover happening without her?”

Jamie’s breath lets out, and Dani knows she’s successfully smoothed it over. “Yeah, you’re right. Only so many eyebrows we need to raise around here in one evening. God, can you imagine how smug Hannah would be if she—shit, OK, you go. But listen—” she’s leaning forward, hands on knees, dead serious – “Owen keeps the good crisps way back in the cupboard to the left of the sink. Now, go with God, Poppins, and hurry back.” She almost, but only just doesn’t say, not yet, _hurry back to me_.

Dani grins, does her best wink (it’s not very good; she essentially just closes both eyes and looks to one side), and as a parting gift, pulls on Jamie’s shirt instead of her own, buttoning it hastily. When she gets out into the hallway, it’s all she can do not to run, skip, turn a cartwheel for God’s sake. When she gets back to the door to her room a few minutes later, she honestly can’t say for sure she didn’t float to the kitchen and back.

-

“The whole goddamn thing? Bold, Poppins, I like it.” Jamie’s eyes widen with amusement at the huge glass bowl of trifle Dani’s got propped on her hip like a toddler, two spoons sticking comically out of the top.

“It’s leftovers!” Dani says cheerfully, sidling to the bed to dump the rest of the bounty: a packet of the good crisps, as promised (thank God she’d been in England long enough to learn that’s what they call chips here), an apple, and the last can of ale from the refrigerator. Because she’s Dani, and Dani is responsible, she’s also got a large glass of water, which she hands directly to Jamie along with a very teacherly (and, Jamie must admit, very appealing) raise of her eyebrows, a silent command to hydrate.

They dig in, and it isn’t long before they’re talking about their lives again, trading turns with the beer alongside more intimate details of their respective childhoods, what school days were like, adolescent crushes, Dani’s college days. It isn’t long after that that Jamie starts a small food fight that ends with bits of trifle on cheeks, chips on the floor to be cleaned up in the morning before Hannah or the kids can see the mess.

(Later—much, much later, when Jamie isn’t frightenable any longer by too-big feelings and Dani isn’t watching around every corner for ghosts, when they’ve reached the point in their relationship where any new information about the early days is a welcome treasure—Dani will tell her that the word “love” floated across her mind for the first time in that moment. Watching Jamie throw her head back with laughter, a trace of custard and cream at the corner of her merry lips, Dani’s heart not quite back to its normal pace from their first time in bed together—something in her body and soul knew. Knew, and also knew enough just to give her thinking self one little peek at it, then tuck it away safely until a far more reasonable amount of time had passed.)

-

When they’ve both eaten enough that the long day and the sex and the weight of just what’s taking shape around them finally start to settle in and call for rest at last, each of them, for different reasons, is experiencing something for the first time: the feeling of being about to go to sleep next to exactly the right person, and having damned good evidence that that person feels the same about you.

Sleepy as they are, once the light is off and they’re nestled down under the covers forehead-to-forehead, they both work their way back out of their shirts and exchange a few drowsy kisses on swollen lips. Finally, Jamie rolls over to the only side she can sleep on. Dani finds it’s the most natural thing in the world to slide her arm up and over Jamie’s waist, to curl her fingers around Jamie’s wrist and rest her head against Jamie’s back. Jamie is a little surprised to find that she doesn’t mind the closeness, but so many things about Dani already are like nothing she’s ever had before.

The last thing Jamie thinks before blissfully drifting off is that Dani’s pillow smells like Dani’s shampoo, and that Dani’s hand smells like Jamie.

Dani’s last thought before sinking into the best sleep of her life is that she could do this, all of this, forever.


End file.
